All posts by Tom Golden

Tom Golden is the author or three books, Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing, The Way Men Heal, and Helping Mothers be Closer to Their Sons: UnderStanding the Unique World of Boys. Tom was the creator of the youtube channel Men Are Good and served as the vice chairman of the Maryland Commission for Men's Health. He has been a therapist in private practice for over 30 years.

The Future of American Men – Sen Josh Hawley

#6 Counting Sheep and Feeling Good

I want you to try something. Hum a tune. Maybe Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Try a line or two. Now try it again and as you are humming try to think of the tune of another song while you are humming Row Row Row Your Boat. What happens? My guess is that like the rest of us, you can’t hear the other song in your head as you are humming the first.  Maybe there are a couple of folks out there who can do that but most of our brains short circuit if we try to double up. While this may be a bit humbling it is also good news. The good news is that by occupying the mind with one theme you can successfully avoid other themes.

This is actually the essence of the age old idea of counting sheep to get to sleep. By counting the sheep you focus on one theme, the sheep, and all the other themes get put on hold. So many times the main problem in failing to get to sleep is a series of intrusive negative thoughts. Very difficult to sleep when you are being bombarded.  These same intrusive negative thoughts wreak havoc on our feeling good.

So how can we use this to our advantage?

TRY THIS

Make yourself comfortable, lying down or sitting. Become aware of your breath. As you breathe in say to yourself or say out loud “one, one, one, one, one” repeatedly as long as you are breathing in. When you start breathing out say out loud or to yourself “two, two, two, two, two” repeatedly for as long as the exhale takes. Then on the next inhale say “three, three, three, three,” and the exhale “four, four, four, four.” Continue this pattern at least until you reach 25. Don’t be surprised if your thoughts intrude on your counting. That is expected.  Just smile and go back to the numbers! Once you reach 25 take note of what you are feeling in your body and what emotions you might have or not have. My guess is that you will feel pretty good but see what your results are.

Red Pill Relationships #2 NAGGING

Feeling Good in a Red Pill World #5 the Breath

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Our lungs are an amazing organ.  I believe they are the only major organ that functions automatically or allows us control if we wish. You choose whether to take complete control of your breath, or just let it do it on its own.  What most people don’t know is our breath, and the way we breathe is intimately tied into our emotions and our feeling good.  Future newsletters will focus on some of those connections but for today we can just say that by slowing the breath down we move into a state of calmness that gives us at least a partial break from our thoughts, our feelings and our anxieties.

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Feeling Good in a Red Pill World! #4 First Time Is Best!

Can you remember your first day at work?  What you did, who you met, what you saw?  Okay how about day two or day three? Chances are you don’t remember quite as much about those days.  Why not?  One of the basic rules of the psyche is that when we do something for the first time our awareness gets stronger.  Basically, we pay more attention.  When we pay more attention we are usually more alive in the present moment.  Because we are more alive in the present moment we tend to remember more of what was happening

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Engineered Fatherlessness Brings Chaos