A Happy New Year to all. Ah yes, new years, that time of year that everyone starts thinking about resolutions. You know, those resolutions that rarely pan out. I’m going to lose 20 lbs. I’m going to stop eating Fritos.” And on and on. I don’t want to discourage anyone from working on making changes that are needed. Go for it! What I do want to suggest is that it might be helpful for you to put a slightly different spin on New Years Change.
Why not try something in addition to making resolutions? How about working to be accepting of yourself as you are? I know a man who is 5’11” who always wanted to be 6 feet tall. It bugged him. It niggled at him. He had this small part of himself that he could hear saying, “you are not 6 feet, you are short.” There was nothing this man could do to increase his height. He could wear extended heels but that wouldn’t really help this inner chatter. Then one day he said to himself, “I am what I am. Hell, I am an inch taller than the average male height. I am fine the way I am.” No one really noticed his shift in thinking except the man who became a tidbit more satisfied with his life and less distracted by his inner warden.
Can you think of something about yourself that you were born with that has bugged you like our man and his height? Can you let it go? Can you just smile at it and say, “Yup, that is me and I am fine with that?” Give it a shot and have a Happy New Year!
Tom Golden is the author or three books, Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing, The Way Men Heal, and Helping Mothers be Closer to Their Sons: UnderStanding the Unique World of Boys. Tom was the creator of the youtube channel Men Are Good and served as the vice chairman of the Maryland Commission for Men’s Health. He has been a therapist in private practice for over 30 years.