Welcome to the first edition of tips for feeling good. The path for many into the red pill world is a tough one and one that can often use an extra dose of feeling good. With that in mind, each Tuesday we are going to offer a quick tip on feeling good. Some will be common sense, some will be drawing on research driven ideas while others will be tested tips from the growing field of positive psychology. We want you to feel good, every day. Let’s get started.
One of the most basic ideas of healing and feeling good is to keep one’s mind in the present moment. When we are able to do this we usually feel good. When the mind gets pulled into the future we often become anxious. When the mind gets stuck in the past we tend to get more depressed. Dwelling on the past and the future will tend to limit our joy.
What’s your favorite ride at the amusement park? Think about it. All the rides are geared to put you into the present moment. Ever notice that people getting off rides are smiling and laughing? That’s why people are wiling to pay for them! They are a quick path to feeling good. Think of a roller coaster ride. You are rolling down the hill…..Are you worrying about the future or upset over the past? Are you thinking about your taxes? No! You are locked into the present moment no future, no past just excited and in the moment. This is why people love it!
Now the important question is how to lock into the present on your own and do it consistently. I know many men who ride their motorcycles and this gets them locked in the present. As they are riding, they are floating in the moment. Others find that music or even singing does it for them. And then there is anything that brings laughter. It’s hard to laugh and not be in the present. All of these help us lock into the moment and that’s where most people feel good. Start thinking about what you do to put yourself into the now. You might want to Talk about it with someone close. Ask them where you seem to feel the most joyful. This will give you some clues about your unique ways, and where your roller coaster might be. You may also get some clues by thinking back to when you were young and the things you did for fun. Have a good time with this.
See you next Tuesday for another tip for feeling good.
Men are good, as are you.
Tom Golden is the author or three books, Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing, The Way Men Heal, and Helping Mothers be Closer to Their Sons: UnderStanding the Unique World of Boys. Tom was the creator of the youtube channel Men Are Good and served as the vice chairman of the Maryland Commission for Men’s Health. He has been a therapist in private practice for over 30 years.